April 4, 2014
5th full day here. I'm not sure if I'm ready to leave this safe haven. Three more days remaining and I have to return to the world that perpetually tempts me, where I'm perpetually reminded where that engulfed, pulsating, ball of nauseous energy, which flares up within the cavity just below my rib cage, where it originated, within the city's imagery it's irritant lurks.
I see life for what it is now, and it both brakes the heavy solids into crumbles of minuscule particles and sweeps them away into an abyss, yet it also reinforces the importance of the structure, the importance of the dance. The importance of my dance. I am both I and Everything that is. The I is the reflection of the Everything experiencing itself from a unique perspective, from this perspective. The "I" is both real and not real. Both the Human and the Tao.
I came here to save myself from my poisons, and what I received was the most incredible experience I could imagine: a glance into the nature of reality. If you search with enough determination, eventually you will find.